Knitting for Sandwiches

Labors of Love

The week began with a trickle of vitality.  It created the sensation that begins to approximate coming closer to myself. I took this as a good sign and pushed ahead to complete two luxurious scarves that were mailed off to Detroit on Wednesday. In between ignoring pain by spending countless knitting hours by the fire I made many many sandwiches. The Panini’s and specialty sandwiches seem to be the most popular. At least my co-workers seem to enjoy them.

Some of my best customers

My dept. manager Dan

This makes Dan my dept. manager pretty happy, and that is a good thing.

I came out of work one day to snow on my car and while brushing it off, burst into tears at the discovery that another season has begun with Mom and Molly still gone. I figured it is time to face that they are not coming back. So on my way home I picked up a small Christmas tree.

The bright lights remind me of the continuity and renewal of life. It is hard to be down when there is so much color glowing in a corner, and it was also wonderful unwrapping ornaments not seen during the years of caring for mom.IMG_1017

Saturday was the monthly service in South Natick with my Natick Praying Indians family. Afterwards many of us gathered for a holiday feast. There was lots of good food, and laughter.

Earlier that day I had spent several hours cooking wonderful dishes and plating them on mom’s serving pieces. My mom, in fact both my parents, were wonderful at entertaining. I felt guided by her in some small measure while selecting the table linens, dishes, and decor. She may not have been able to relate to Native Regalia or Christmas trees but she sure knew what to consider in making a good party, and she taught me well.

Chief Caring Hands and her family had a wonderful time and it was great to feel the house filled with the possibility of friendship.

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Herb made a beautiful cake to celebrate both Peter and Harry’s birthdays. The kids had a great time helping to blow out the candles.

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There were wonderful conversations flowing easily around the room as we all learned more about each other than we knew before.

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M'lkebet, Medicine Deer, and Strong Bull

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By the time the evening ended it with Herb, Kim and Hannah helping with clean-up, it was way past my bedtime. Oddly, although exhausted, I also felt full and complete in a way I haven’t experienced in a long time.

Getting into bed warmed by the after glow of good food, thought provoking conversation, and laughter, I was smiling. I couldn’t help but think about mom and how she unknowingly orchestrated my introduction to the very people who monthly, have become so pivotal to my recovery.

Though things are still difficult, there are signs that life is slowly but surely re-asserting itself and that my friends is a HUGE relief. This knowing makes it possible to go on making sandwiches for six hours a day with one fifteen minute break, and working my knitting therapy the rest of the time. I may not have the capacity to share too much these days, but believe me, there is plenty good goin’ on.

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"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1 bakka2thesource a collaboration of musicians and artists.
This entry was posted in Life, Life with Deli Woman, love, mindfulness, Post grief recovery, Resiliency, soul, Success, truth. Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to Knitting for Sandwiches

  1. lapetinaa says:

    Thank you for sharing these beautiful pictures. They portray your evolution of the grieving process and now you are starting to take part in living, laughing, and making a new life for yourself. I Am so proud of you. Xxxxxx

  2. bornbyariver says:

    beautiful family, beautiful yarn, beautiful blessings.

  3. Samantha Amey says:

    So glad to see you back, Beth. I was hoping your quietness was due to contented coziness & not to more upheaval in your life. I see that it has apparently been due to both, or at least to the ongoing challenge of seeking balance. You are an inspiration & I wish you the peace & joy of knowing that all will be well in time. Namaste

  4. Sylvie says:

    So nice the see the house full of people, food, lights and color 🙂

  5. Robert Vanderwaall says:

    Happy faces, young and old, good food and cozy scenes. A great way to celebrate and remember your mom and Molly. Very nice.

  6. seems like you had a lot of fun! 🙂

  7. benso says:

    Good site you have got here.. It’s hard to find high-quality writing like yours these
    days. I truly appreciate people like you!
    Take care!!

  8. I couldn’t resist commenting. Very well written!

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