At Face Value

Day four

I know most of you are waiting for a follow up to the January rowing challenge and the Crash B’s, but you will have to excuse me. I was up much of last night thinking about sayings that contain the word face, while listening to the itchy twitches that are beginning to move around on my face.

At 3 am I finally turned on the light and filled two pages of a notebook with what felt like an exhaustive face page list, allowing me to go back to sleep for an hour. This morning, after taking a picture of myself I went on line and found there were about fifty more.

I did complete the January challenge at 1,022,000 meters for the month of January, ranking 16th out of 4,254 participants and the Crash B’s at 8:16.3 (a personal best) which landed me at 7th out a field of 14 competitors. And while it is true that I was ecstatic about both of those accomplishments, as is the case with reaching all summits, the view is fantastic until you notice there is another one on the horizon you want to attempt. Beginning the descent to base camp to regroup before beginning again,  you swear you will always remember every detail of the wonderment. But by the time you reach reality, memory space is pressed into service of more pressing survival issues.

The reason for my current pre-occupation is that I am midway through day four of treating my face four times a day with Flourouracil 5% cream for Solar Keratosis, often a precursor to malignant cells. The doctor I am working with suggested we could treat one section at a time, but I decided to do it all at once, which means looking fairly normal by the time both sculling school, and my mom’s 90th birthday arrive, the first weekend of June.

I am going to document my journey here, which is scary, especially in the harsh glare of natural light without enhancement, but I have always regretted that I didn’t archive the magnificent progression of my life altering poisonous spider bite a couple of years ago. So, in the interest of facing the facts of my own vanity, and in service to my long fascination with the regenerative process of life, I am praying for a brave face, that enables the posting of all the sordid details.

After all, I am not my face and this condition is for me, hopefully temporary, and a good reminder to all of us, even those blessed with an abundance of melanin, to use sunscreen every single day. Believe it or not I am looking forward to the insights that are sure to be revealed along with new skin. is an excellent resource, with special sections with information for people of color. I hope you will all take the time to read it. So while I can still tolerate sweat it’s back to the erg for me.



"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1 bakka2thesource a collaboration of musicians and artists.
This entry was posted in eldercare caregiving rowing baking midlife enlightenment, Fluoroucil 5% Cream, Keratosis and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to At Face Value

  1. Amy Lapetina says:

    I will be right there along with you, Beth. You are brave, honest and true.

  2. Thea says:

    Bethie! You will always be beautiful. Please keep me posted on how things are going. You will be in my thoughts even more then you are now.

  3. Marge says:

    Can we say courage? You are amazing! Finishing one tremendous long-term goal and now onto something that will take you into June???? i smile when I see your face… thank you for being who you are.
    Much love

  4. Shawna says:

    Just remember…the Shaman’s Cup, baby! Where there’s fear there is power…..

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